Hagbard Celine

2025-05-21T13:43:19Z

2A00:23C5:FE1C:3701:8F0:AE47:2B24:9157: misuse of semicolon

{{Short description|Fictional character in The Illuminatus! Trilogy}}
{{For|the German hacker who used the nickname "Hagbard"|Karl Koch (hacker)}}
{{Multiple issues|
{{In-universe|date=October 2009}}
{{More citations needed|date=August 2018}}
}}
{{Infobox character
| name = Hagbard Celine
| series = [[The Illuminatus! Trilogy]]
| creator = [[Robert Shea]]<br>[[Robert Anton Wilson]]
| first = ''[[The Eye in the Pyramid]]'' (1975)
| full_name = Howard Crane
| alias = Hagbard Celine
| species = [[Human]]
| gender = [[Male]]
}}
'''Hagbard Celine''' is a central [[protagonist]] in ''[[The Illuminatus! Trilogy]]'' series of books by [[Robert Shea]] and [[Robert Anton Wilson]] named after the legendary Viking hero [[Hagbard]], who died for love. In the ''[[Schrödinger's Cat Trilogy]]'' written after ''Illuminatus!'', it is stated that "Hagbard Celine" is a pseudonym and that his legal name is '''Howard Crane'''. However, the trilogy passes through many different universes.

==Character==
Hagbard has parallels to [[Jules Verne]]'s character, [[Captain Nemo]]. Both are genius captains aboard a fantastic submarine. Both are rogues who have mostly broken off from society, yet help the oppressed. Some have even theorized that Hagbard Celine is Captain Nemo,<ref>[http://www.coolfrenchcomics.com/wnu6.htm French Wold Newton Universe: Who Was Nobody?]</ref> though Verne's ''[[Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Seas]]'' is set in the second half of the nineteenth century. He is also comparable to a degree to [[Ragnar Danneskjold]], a libertarian pirate in [[Ayn Rand]]'s novel ''[[Atlas Shrugged]]'', which is spoofed in the chronicles as "''[[Telemachus]] Sneezed''". Like Danneskjold, Hagbard participates in the black market, exploiting and resisting governments, and both characters have Norwegian roots.

Hagbard is a notorious prankster and liar (telling one character not to trust anyone with the initials H.C.). This character trait is displayed throughout ''Illuminatus!''. Celine tends to give misinformation about himself and his intentions and that he faked the death of an actress, implied to be [[Marilyn Monroe]],<ref>{{cite web
| url=https://sites.google.com/site/onlymaybe/illuminatus-trilogy/characters/hagbard-celine
| title=Illuminatus! trilogy - Hagbard Celine
| access-date=2023-01-19}}</ref> in order to train her into becoming an embodiment of the goddess [[Eris (mythology)|Eris]]. Celine subsequently fell in love with the woman and announces his intention to marry her during the trilogy.

A [[Discordianism|Discordian]] [[anarchist]], he fights the Illuminati from a golden submarine, the ''Leif Ericson'' (named after [[Leif Ericson|the Viking explorer]]). The submarine was supposedly designed and built by himself, stolen from the [[United States Navy]], or a gift from [[Sicilian Mafia|the Mafia]]. Despite its size—the equivalent of five city blocks long with a three-story-high [[conning tower]]—it has so far remained undetected.

He has a Norwegian mother and a Sicilian father, physically resembling [[Anthony Quinn]]. In a section printed in the introductions of volumes I and II of the trilogy, though not reprinted in the single-volume compilation, the narrator mentions that he has a raft of Irish relatives in Ohio named McGee and Marlowe. Wilson also implies in ''[[The Historical Illuminatus Chronicles]]'' that Hagbard is related to one of the central characters, Sigismundo Celine.

He speaks Norwegian, Italian, English, German, Latin, Greek and Swahili. He graduated [[Harvard|from Harvard]] with a somewhat strange [[double major]] in [[contract law]] and [[naval engineering]].

A former [[Naturalization|naturalized]] United States citizen, Hagbard supposedly [[Relinquishment of United States nationality|relinquished his citizenship]] after representing a [[Mohawk nation|Mohawk]] reservation in court against the [[Bureau of Indian Affairs]]. Hagbard generally told people he was an engineer building a dam during his time with the Mohawk because he was ashamed of being a lawyer.

He later became a citizen of [[Equatorial Guinea]], of which [[Bioko|Fernando Poo]] is a part, having papers referring to this by the time of the [[Walpurgis Night|Walpurgisnacht]] rock concert. The appendix to the trilogy mentions that Hagbard builds a [[starship]] and leaves to explore [[Alpha Centauri]] in the year 1999.

Hagbard designed a supercomputer called the First Universal Cybernetic Kinetic Ultramicro-Programmer. Among other things, he used to calculate the chances of [[World War III]] starting, which it does by throwing virtual [[I Ching]] sticks.

His manifesto is called ''Never Whistle While You're Pissing'', containing his ''Definitions and Distinctions'', an anarchist interpretation of capitalist concepts.<ref>{{cite web
| url=https://mutualist.blogspot.com/2005/01/definitions-and-distinctions.html
| title=Definitions and Distinctions
| first=Kevin
| last=Carson
| authorlink=Kevin Carson
| date=2005-01-19
| access-date=2021-12-02}}</ref>

==See also==
* [[Celine's Laws]]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

{{Robert Anton Wilson}}
{{Robert Shea|state=collapsed}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Celine, Hagbard}}
[[Category:Fictional military captains]]
[[Category:Fictional American lawyers]]
[[Category:Fictional engineers]]
[[Category:Fictional sea pirates]]
[[Category:Fictional outlaws]]
[[Category:Fictional drug dealers]]
[[Category:Fictional Norwegian people]]
[[Category:Fictional Italian people in literature]]
[[Category:Science fiction characters]]
[[Category:Literary characters introduced in 1975]]
[[Category:Characters in American novels of the 20th century]]
[[Category:Robert Anton Wilson]]
[[Category:Fictional people with acquired American citizenship]]

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Hagbard Celine