Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover

Template:Use mdy dates Template:Short description Template:Infobox song "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" is a song written and performed by American singer-songwriter Sophie B. Hawkins and produced by Rick Chertoff and Ralph Schuckett. Released in March 1992 by Columbia Records as the first single from Hawkins' debut album, Tongues and Tails (1992), the song achieved success in many countries worldwide; in the United States, it reached number five on the Billboard Hot 100. It also reached the top 10 in six other countries, including Canada, Denmark, New Zealand, and Norway. In the United Kingdom, the single peaked at number 14 on the UK Singles Chart. Two different versions of the music video were made for the song after the first version was banned by MTV for its erotic content.

Background and composition

The song's lyrics are written from the perspective of a woman who is observing another woman in an abusive relationship. Hawkins has explicitly stated that she is what she terms "omnisexual", which means that a lover's gender does not matter to her.<ref>Template:Cite web</ref> The song encourages people to be open-minded about this as well, with the line "Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed", which is meant to combat homophobia and queerphobia. The homoerotic nature of the song was rare at the time, as not many songs dealt with the erotic or romantic love between two women, but it was not picked up on by a large group of listeners, and it is still glossed over in many articles discussing lesbian representation in love songs.<ref>Template:Cite web</ref><ref>Template:Cite web</ref>

Critical reception

Roch Parisien from AllMusic described the song as "hook-filled mainstream pop".<ref>Template:Cite web</ref> Upon the release, Larry Flick from Billboard magazine wrote, "Hawkins proves to be a star-in-the-making, delivering a charming vocal over a hypnotic, rock/hip-hop beat. Contagious, sing-along chorus renders tune an unlikely anthem, but one that deserves every bit of airplay it gets."<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref> Clark and DeVaney from Cash Box felt the singer-songwriter "has a sexy, breathy and slightly vulnerable sound".<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref> Stephanie Zacharek from Entertainment Weekly remarked that in the "killer single" "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover", "Hawkins says those words as insouciantly as if she’d just broken a nail. But she still lets you know they mean a hell of a lot more to her than that."<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref> Dave Sholin from the Gavin Report stated, "When 1992 is done and gone, we'll likely remember the debut of this singer/songwriter from New York City's Upper West Side as one of the year's musical highlights." He added, "It's not often when programmer consensus is this strong on a new song by an unknown artist, but in this case, it's totally justified. It's one of those that is instantly obvious seconds after it starts."<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>

Pan-European magazine Music & Media said, "Listen to the extremely strong chorus to this pop song, and you'll understand why."<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref> Alan Jones from Music Week named it Pick of the Week, writing, "Brooklyn babe's self-penned multi-textured and multi-format debut is a compelling confection. Soulfully shuffling and coyly chiming, it's armed with a killer hook, and knows it. A curious early fade threatens, before Sophie builds it up again."<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref> A reviewer from People Magazine noted, "When a record opens with a song called 'Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover', you realize immediately you're not dealing with some delicate flower. Hawkins knows what she wants, and she knows how to get it."<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref> In a retrospective review, Pop Rescue stated that "this is a wonderfully breathy song which builds well in the chorus and adds more instruments into the second verse."<ref>Template:Cite web</ref> Jonathan Bernstein from Spin wrote, "Not only was her lubricious lament, 'Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover', the year's stand-alone Great White Pop Single, but it neatly supplanted 'I'm Too Sexy' as the phrase on the nation's lips."<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>

Music video

The original music video for the song featured Hawkins lying on her back in a flowing, light-fabric outfit while singing the song, interspersed with scenes of dancers and of Hawkins kneeling down while wearing a combination of a tube top and daisy dukes. At the time, television network MTV banned the original version for its erotic content;<ref>Template:Cite web</ref> moreover, Sony Music Entertainment (SME) was still repeatedly banning it from YouTube "on copyright grounds" as of late June 2017. A new video was shot, after the MTV ban, that showed Hawkins in a more conservative outfit of jeans and a flannel shirt, performing the song on a stage together with a band. While the new video was shot entirely in black and white, a significant portion of the original video was in colour (though there were scenes in black and white as well, with some artificial colouring used to artistically enhance the material). A portion of this original video is featured in the documentary The Cream Will Rise.<ref>Creme de la Creme by Todd Martinez-Padilla Simmons [1] Template:Webarchive (Retrieved March 6, 2008)</ref> Both video versions used the shorter radio version.

Impact and legacy

Slant Magazine listed "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" at number 100 in their ranking of "The 100 Best Singles of the 1990s" in 2011, writing,

Time Out placed it at number 45 in their list of "The 50 Best Gay Songs to Celebrate Pride All Year Long" in 2022.<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>

Track listings

• US CD and cassette single<ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref><ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref>
• Australian CD and cassette single<ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref><ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref>
• Japanese mini-CD single<ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref>

1. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" – 5:21
2. "Don't Stop Swaying" – 5:32

• UK and European 7-inch single<ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref><ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref>
• European CD single<ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref>

A. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" (radio edit) – 4:08

B. "Don't Stop Swaying" – 5:32

• UK CD single<ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref>

1. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" (radio version) – 4:08
2. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" (long version) – 5:22
3. "Listen" – 3:31
4. "Don't Stop Swaying" – 5:32

• UK 12-inch single<ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref>

A1. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" (long version) – 5:22

B1. "Listen" – 3:31

B2. "Don't Stop Swaying" – 5:32

• European maxi-CD single<ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref>

1. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" (radio edit) – 4:08
2. "Don't Stop Swaying" – 5:32
3. "Listen" – 3:32

• European 12-inch single<ref>Template:Cite AV media notes</ref>

A1. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" (radio edit) – 4:08

A2. "Don't Stop Swaying" – 5:32

B1. "Listen" – 3:32

B2. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" (album version) – 5:23

Personnel

• Mixed by David Leonard and Steve Churchyard
• Produced by Ralph Schuckett and Rick Chertoff

Charts

Weekly charts

Template:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chartTemplate:Single chart

Chart (1992–1993)	Peak position
Denmark (IFPI)<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>	5
Europe (Eurochart Hot 100)<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>	26
Greece (Virgin)<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>	8
UK Airplay (Music Week)<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>	10

Year-end charts

Chart (1992)	Position
Australia (ARIA)<ref name="ausye">Template:Cite web</ref>	18
Canada Top Singles (RPM)<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>	32
Europe (Eurochart Hot 100)<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>	85
Germany (Media Control)<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>	61
New Zealand (RIANZ)<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>	37
Sweden (Topplistan)<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>	61
UK Airplay (Music Week)<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>	73
US Billboard Hot 100<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>	34

Release history

Region	Date	Format(s)	Label(s)	Template:Abbr
United States	March 31, 1992	Radio	Columbia	<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>
Australia	April 20, 1992	Template:Hlist		<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>
Japan	May 21, 1992	Mini-CD	Sony	<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>
United Kingdom	June 15, 1992	Template:Hlist	Columbia	<ref>Template:Cite magazine</ref>

External links

• Clips from The Cream Will Rise Template:Webarchive, including a clip describing Hawkins' feelings about the banned "Damn" video
• YouTube – Original video